Some people forgive those who hurt them only when the offender asks for forgiveness. “Can you forgive me?” is usually met with a reluctant “yes” or “Please give me time.” The problem of holding back until someone asks for forgiveness is that it tends to make the one doing the forgiving feel as though they are only forgiving because they were asked but not actually forgiving the offense. They find out later that they are still hurting and wonder if their forgiveness came too quickly. Some people never forgive. These folks end up living very sad lives, always finding fault with others, usually complaining and constantly living in the past. The problem with living in the past is that life is meant to be lived with hope. There is no hope in the past. Some folks forgive with their mouths but their hearts are not in it. “I’ll forgive you but I never want to see you again!” These folks are only kidding themselves –they haven’t forgiven anyone. Some folks say, “I have to forgive you, I am a Christian.” I catalog those folks with those who say, “I have to love them, I’m a Christian.” Sheesh! Give me a break. That’s like saying, “I’m only loving you because somebody told me I have to.” Could you imagine your mom or dad saying that to you while you were growing up. “I’m only giving you this Christmas present because somebody told me I had to.” You are probably wondering what Christmas presents have to do with forgiveness. Well, I’ll tell you.
Peter tells us in the book of Acts 5:31; “God exalted Him(Jesus) to his own right hand as Prince and Savior that he might give repentance and forgiveness of sins.” The forgiveness of God is strictly a gift and that gift was given whether we asked for it or not. Remember, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Paul exhorts us to forgive one another as Christ forgave us. I can forgive because Jesus forgave me. And besides that, Jesus has forgiven everyone that has offended me as well. Think about it, if you are saying to yourself, “I can’t forgive that person. They have hurt me too deeply. And besides that, they don’t want forgiven.” Well, Jesus forgave people who don’t want to be forgiven. Who loses?
The benefits of forgiveness are tremendous. And I think the number one blessing is that it puts us in right relationship with God. If I hold onto unforgiveness I am actually telling God that my way is better than His –and no Christian in their right mind would say that. But when I offer my forgiveness freely, because I am conscious of God and my love for God, then God’s Spirit bears witness and abides in my heart. If I will not forgive my brother I am hating him. No man can love God, whom they can’t see and hate their brother whom they do see –that’s Bible 101! One final thought. If God has forgiven that offense upon us and God has forgiven that one who has offended us, who are we to say they are not forgiven. I’m not going there. I know forgiveness is hard; in fact, no one can forgive sins except God. Get the hint?